Bombastic opening statement about the strength of the glorious code you're about to read. Further explanation that clearly you haven't seen anything as good as this yet.
Unimportant and overlong diatribe explaining why this forthcoming code snippet is critical to the world at large, including meaningless attempt at invoking "think of the children." Bluntly state that my fellow bloggers have it all wrong, that only I have the true solution. Immediately try to roll back that statement with phrases like "they have their good ideas," but subtly acknowledge that, yes, I am better than them, thanks for asking.
Dive into a story about how, in my early years, something bad happened and compelled me to think of the world differently. Clearly I was so traumatized by this experience that everyone else should be sad for me, hence why I am relating it to you, even though you didn't need or really want me to. Weakly try to link that unnecessary story to the potential improvements the world can harness from my code and fail miserably, but continue to insist that I'm right and that you all should thank me for deigning to spend my irreplaceable time on this God-given snippet.
Attempt to drum up excitement for my impressive snippet by using words like "magical" and "time-saving" and "microservice". Finally get around to introducing the code, but not before once again flatly stating how the world should be thanking me for creating this divinely inspired piece of code.
Final introduction statement, which will invariably include the phrase "and without further ado..."
public static string Truncate(this string input)
{
if (input.Length > 40) return input.Substring(0, 40) + "...";
else return input;
}
Bluntly state that yes, it is as magical as it seems. And, yes, it is also just that simple. Subtly ask for praise while maintaining that you only do this to help your fellow programmers, but really, the praise would be accepted with dignity. And repeatedly. Preferably with Kickstarter donations.
Trite closing paragraph, with sweeping but hollow affirmations that I'm the best coder who ever lived, and everyone else should recognize that. Of course, I will accept all that praise humbly and with deference to my fellow man.
Suitably dull closing signoff statement, almost certainly including the word "coding."
Post image is obviously Simon looking Smug from Flickr, used under license. I mean, come on.